Masks make more people attractive
Sometimes, it’s better to keep the mystery alive
People are uglier than I initially give them credit for.
Especially the ones I like.
More and more, I meet new people, for the first time, and they’re wearing a mask.
It’s kind of funny how many folks I live, work, and interact with on a daily basis, all the while, having no clue what they look like.
I like it that way.
Sure it bothered me, at first.
Then I went on a date.
I’d met her at work.
And we’d hit it off.
When I finally asked her out, and we were texting, setting up plans to meet up, it occurred to me that I’d never actually seen her without her mask on.
And I became concerned.
Because that’s a full third of a persons face.
This girls nose, jawline, and cheekbones were a total mystery.
Naturally, I was nervous.
And when we met up, face to face, literally, for the first time, I couldn’t help but feel…
You might think that’s harsh.
It’s not that she wasn’t a looker. She was cute.
It’s just that she looked… Different than I’d expected.
Like, I’d had this idea of what she’d look like underneath the mask.
And it wasn’t that.
It’s not her fault. I mean c’mon. Who could live up to that kind of standard: Some dudes wishful thinking.
It didn’t match reality.
But I couldn’t shake that feeling.
And it kept happening.
People would shed their masks for a quick sip of coffee, and I’d catch a glimpse of some pasty chin, and think to myself,
I’d wanted better for them.
We’d joke around, have a good time, shoot the shit, and then they pull down that face hugger, no warning, and I don’t have the chance to avert my eyes before my dreams are crushed and reality settles in.
I’ve realized I’ve been making friends with people who’ve got massive schnozes.
Like really big.
And I’d never even known!
I’m not saying they’re obligated to disclose that information, just that it’s a vital component of any relationship.
I don’t have anything against the larger nostrilled.
I have many dear friends with noses far too big for their faces.
But I know who they are, usually.
The introduction to that part of them comes at the beginning of the relationship.
Not weeks afterwards.
Maybe it’s vain of me to want the people I like to look good.
But what’s wrong with wanting the people around you to be attractive?
Am I the first person to feel better about themself because they were hanging out with good looking people?
I doubt that.
Even if it was imaginary?
You know how in cartoons and kids shows the good guys always looked good?
And the bad guys were always hideous sacks of shit?
Well, wouldn’t life be better if we could determine the assholes from the astronauts, by their looks?
Can’t we keep that going? Just for a little while longer?
For the love of god please, everyone, keep your masks on.
You look much better that way.